Unice the Utilitarian Unicorn

Unice the Utilitarian Unicorn
was irritated by her horn.
“This thing keeps getting in the way,
it’s only good for tossing hay!
Sure, other horses say it’s swell,
but they’re not wearing one as well.

“And besides, I could make a killing.
Apparently, there are people willing
to pay me heaps of cold, hard cash
to add my horn to their treasure stash.
It’s crazy but they are convinced
it works magic when eaten minced!”

I saw Unice a week ago.
She galloped up to say hello.
She’d grown her mane over where her horn
used to be, before it got sawn.

She still glows purple when she stands in the sun,
and she still doesn’t touch the ground when she runs.
But apart from that – and farting glitter, of course –
Unice the unicorn is now just a horse.

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