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Preposterous Poems
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Inky Illustrations
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Papery Pages
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Ridiculous Rhymes*
*Roughly
Doofus the Demon Dog is a book of very silly verse and somewhat sketchy drawings. Its only proper purpose is to make children of all ages smile.
“Most importantly, it rhymes”
Tristan Forester
Editor
“I haven't heard all of them, but I would like to at some point”
Kudzie Gumbat
Pet Shop Manager
“Wonderfully, playfully quirky”
Don Pinnock
Daily Maverick
“I showed the pictures to my knitting group, and they loved them”
Marianne Westwood
Alison's Mother
Read the poems
Anton theAudaciousAardvark Anton the Audacious Aardvarkwas always up for a good lark.He made a habit of trying on suitswith their owners still in them, just for hoots. When climbing up a flight of stairs,he liked to tweak folks’ ankle hairs.He’d save a week’s supply of antsto hide in someone’s underpants.And when he felt especially perky,he’d […]
Betty theBeauteousBudgerigar Betty the Beauteous Budgerigarknew that she was meant to go far. She preened her feathers from dusk ‘til dawn –the brightest yellow a bird’s ever worn.From dawn ’til dusk, she’d dance and sing,and try hard to be interesting. At last, just when her luck seemed out,she was spotted by a talent scout. “Mon […]
Claude the Conversational Cockroach Claude the Conversational Cockroachtakes the unconventional approachof making friends with passing strangersalthough he knows quite well the dangersof hefty boot or rolled newspaperthanks to his aunt. He had to scrape heroff the kitchen table when she triedto share her views on pesticide. (Although Claude was not overwhelmed, it’swhy he now wears a cycling […]
Doofus the Demon Dog Doofus the Demon Dog was a most frustrated creature.His sufferings were worse than thoseof Schopenhauer or Nietzsche. He started life quite happilytormenting souls in Hell,but, as a special punishment –the Devil knew him well – he was taken from his pleasures,sent hence from Satan’s pits,and materialised in earthly form –alas that of a Shihtz –who was so […]
Buy the book
A limited number of real-life, papery copies of Doofus the Demon Dog are available in pocket-size hardcover or softcover editions. They make jolly good gifts for all the strange people in your life (including yourself).
About the author
Ali the Alliterative Alligator is a full-time layabout and part-time poet, illustrator, strandloper, hikist, website-builder, and totally-definitely-future-oneday-novelist. Before she stopped doing anything useful, she wrote anything from corporate training videos and television adverts to magazine travel articles and home improvement blog posts. And far too many emails. The emails are why she now hides in a swamp, surrounded by a moat, and burbles.
Text and illustrations by Alison Westwood. Licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 4.0 International License.